STANDING IN LOVE... So You Can't Fall Out!

Have you ever heard someone say they "fell out of love"? Typically, this phrase is associated with romantic love, but the idea of falling out of love applies to various forms of love. Rarely does a mother say to her son, "I love you, Tommy, but I'm just not in love with you anymore." The argument here is that, regardless of the type of love, it's unnecessary to "fall out of love" if you're committed to "standing in love." Love shouldn't be a fleeting emotion that blows in and out of relationships like leaves in the wind. Instead, it can be a lasting and integral part of all relationships if we learn how to stand in love. If falling in love is possible, then surely standing in love is achievable too.

Research by Dr. Barbara Fredrickson reveals that humans are hardwired to create the feeling of love or, as she calls it, "positive resonance." Love, according to Dr. Fredrickson, is the essential nutrient that our cells crave—a true positivity-charged connection with other living beings. To foster more loving feelings in a marriage, attention must be paid to the "micro moments" or small interactions shared with a spouse daily. Based on Dr. Fredrickson’s research, three conditions—Stand in Positivity, Stand In Synchrony, and Stand In Charity—can be chosen to bring connection and love into each interaction.

Stand in Positivity

Creating shared positive, emotional experiences is crucial. It involves deliberately fostering shared, positive, emotional moments with a partner. By choosing to bring positivity home and consistently sharing positive experiences, couples can strengthen their connection. This principle recognizes that people sharing positive experiences tend to lean toward each other, fostering deeper attraction.

Stand in Synchrony

Human beings are naturally wired to mirror the behavior and chemistry of those around them. Synchrony, the connectivity achieved through mirror neurons in our brains, allows individuals to become "In Sync" with each other, essentially operating as one unit. By turning toward each other in conversation, minimizing distractions, and being attentive, couples can enhance their synchrony and deepen their connection.

Stand in Charity

The third component involves standing in charity, where intentional investment in the well-being of a partner takes precedence. Charity requires prioritizing a partner's needs above one's own, losing oneself in serving the partner because of genuine care. It emphasizes acting on pleas and requests, apologizing for hurts, and forgiving. Standing in Charity fosters an environment of trust, allowing partners to feel safe and open to genuine feedback.

To maintain a lasting love, it's essential to stand in Positivity, Synchrony, and Charity consistently. Love, viewed as a verb rather than a fleeting feeling, requires commitment and effort. By taking a stand in these aspects, individuals can create the love they desire, ensuring it doesn't simply fall away. So, consider finding moments to stand in Positivity, Synchrony, and Charity to practice the art of loving others and create the lasting love we all crave.