Parenting Adulting Children

As parents and families grow, the expectation might be that parenting becomes easier with time. However, the reality is quite the opposite. Parenting involves navigating the ever-evolving nature of children transitioning into adulthood. To foster strong and lasting relationships with adult children, it's crucial to adapt and relate in ways that align with their changing needs. Here are five fundamental principles to guide interactions and relationships with adult children:

1. Accept Their Agency

Acknowledge the diminished control you once had. Parenting now involves influencing rather than dictating. Focus on influencing the process rather than controlling outcomes. Encourage independence by respecting their choices.

2. Respect Their Choices Like Any Other Adult

Accelerate the transition to adulthood by treating their choices with the same respect given to any other adult. Allow and support changes in their lives without resistance. Recognize and embrace their growth into unique individuals. View them as adults, not the children you once guided. Refrain from offering unsolicited advice, treating them with the same consideration as you would a friend or neighbor.

3. "Let Them Reap What They Sow"

Embrace the Law of the Harvest – they reap what they sow. Allow them to face the consequences of their actions to facilitate growth. Avoid shielding them from life's principles. Let them handle the repercussions of their decisions and refrain from solving all their problems. Encourage independence by letting them clean up their own messes. If they live at home, enforce responsibility in earning their keep.

4. Adjust Your Game If It's Not Working

Be open to adjusting your parenting approach as your child becomes an adult. Adaptability is key to maintaining effective communication. Just like a football team making halftime adjustments, be willing to revise your game plan to foster a positive relationship.

5. Love Them No Matter What Consistently show unconditional love. The ability to influence is limited if the connection is strained. Avoid an "either my way or the highway" mentality. Acknowledge that challenges in parenting adult children may stem from failures during their childhood. Reinforce the message that they are loved unconditionally, fostering a supportive foundation for their journey into adulthood.