Making Your Mark: Influencing Your Adult Children

Nothing brings more joy than witnessing our adult children thrive, enjoying the health and happiness of a fulfilling life. Yet, assisting them in their journey can be challenging as we navigate the fine line between being a positive influence and allowing them to lead their own lives. To strengthen your influence with your adult kids, here are five rules aimed at creating human flourishing and true happiness.

1. Accept Their Adulthood

Recognize and respect the fact that your children are now adults. Instead of trying to change them, focus on influencing them positively. Let go of old command and control methods and allow them to lead, determining when and how they want your influence.

2. Be A Healthy Adult Yourself

Your influence diminishes if you're not mature enough. Be a role model for effective adulthood in all aspects—physically, socially, mentally, emotionally, financially, and spiritually. Demonstrate what it means to be healthy, be interdependent with your children, and depend on them as little as possible.

3. Create Consistent Moments To Influence

Influence requires time and proximity. Establish regular activities, dinners, and opportunities to engage with both your adult children and grandchildren. Make your time together a break for them, not a burden, providing support without complicating their lives. Remember to maintain moderation and respect other in-laws' roles.

4. Deliver Support As Needed

Your adult children may face challenges they can't research themselves. Always speak positively about them in front of your grandchildren. Offer support where needed but seek permission and ask where they need help rather than assuming. Be their support while letting them retain control.

5. Express The Good You See

Motivate with positivity. Acknowledge and highlight the successes of your adult children, providing positive reinforcement. Be their greatest champion, expressing confidence and pride in their achievements. Share their successes with others, creating a family tradition of pointing out the positive.

By following these rules, you can play a crucial role in influencing your adult children positively, fostering their growth, and contributing to their overall well-being.