Increasing Influence in Your Most Important Relationships

Have you ever found yourself wishing for a more receptive audience, whether in your personal relationships or at work? The ability to influence others positively and effectively is a skill that goes beyond hierarchical positions. It's about understanding people on a deeper level and building trust. If you're looking to enhance your influence and create lasting connections, here are five key principles to consider:

1. See People Wholly

To influence someone deeply, you must see them as a complete and multifaceted individual, not just through labels or predefined roles. Recognize that everyone, regardless of challenges, possesses unique strengths. Before attempting to influence, take the time to understand the physical, social, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and financial aspects of a person's life. A holistic understanding allows your solutions to be more comprehensive and tailored to their needs.

2. Master Your Own Thinking Before Questioning Another’s

Self-awareness is a powerful tool in gaining trust and influence. Understand your own thoughts, biases, and triggers before trying to influence others. Instead of demanding a world where nothing is offensive, focus on understanding why certain things bother you. By mastering your own thinking, you create an environment where open and honest conversations can take place without fear of unintentional offenses.

3. Trade Your Negativity for Neutrality

Shifting from negative interpretations to positive ones can be challenging. If that seems too difficult, aim for neutrality. Enter conversations with a neutral mindset, avoiding a negatively biased perspective. Recognize and let go of habitual negative interpretations. Instead of anticipating the worst, approach situations with a neutral stance. Neutrality opens the door to more objective, less emotionally charged discussions.

4. Prioritize Understanding Others Over Agreement or Action

When seeking influence, prioritize understanding over immediate agreement or action. Ask yourself, "What is the goal?" Understanding someone's perspective is often more valuable than simply agreeing with them. The depth of your understanding directly correlates with the level of agreement you can achieve. Take the time to comprehend the nuances of another person's viewpoint, as this lays the foundation for effective problem-solving and collaboration.

5. Pay Attention to What People are Not Saying

Nonverbal cues and unspoken thoughts often convey more than explicit statements. Be attentive to what is not being said, as it can be just as significant as verbal communication. Sometimes, the quiet moments and unspoken truths hold the key to understanding deeper concerns or reservations. Instead of engaging in surface-level disagreements, delve into the underlying reasons for unspoken sentiments to foster a more meaningful connection.

In conclusion, building influence is a journey that requires a genuine understanding of others and a commitment to self-awareness. By seeing people holistically, mastering your own thinking, embracing neutrality, prioritizing understanding, and paying attention to the unspoken, you can create lasting influence in your most important relationships. Remember, true influence comes from connection and empathy.