Growing Your Love by Doing What Doesn’t Come Easy
Jan 19, 2017
Solutions to Reverse Harmful Habits in Relationships
- Act as if Others Are Watching You
- Reactivity: People act differently when being observed. A study at Hawthorne Works found increased productivity when workers were watched.
- Solution: Treat your partner at home as well as you do in public. Imagine your kids are always watching and maintain positive behaviors in private.
- See The Halo Not The Pitchfork
- Halo Effect: Positive traits spill over to other areas in perceptions.
- Pitchfork Bias: Noticing everything negatively about your partner.
- Solution: Intentionally notice and share the good things your partner does daily. Focus on positive aspects to break the bias.
- Choose the Right...Not Reactance
- Reactance: The urge to do the opposite of what someone wants due to perceived constraint.
- Solution: Avoid reacting against your partner's wishes out of resistance.
- Be mature and occasionally do things you may not want to do.
- Opt For Distance...Not Discounts
- Discounting: Preferring immediate payoff over a larger, delayed one.
- Solution: Focus on delayed gratification in relationships.
- Establish rituals for disconnecting from technology and spending quality time together.
- Watch Out for the Nocebo Effect
- Nocebo Effect: Ineffective solutions that worsen conditions.
- Solution: Recognize and discard ineffective patterns.
- Choose solutions that genuinely improve the relationship instead of false prescriptions.
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