Five Areas of Focus For Deeper Talks

Focus on The Emotions, Not Just The Words

Emotions are authentic indicators of feelings and shouldn't be ignored. Instead of reacting to emotions, use them to gauge the conversation's progress. Invite others to share the stories behind their emotions, promoting understanding and validation. Understand your own emotions in the conversation to improve your self-awareness.

Focus More on What You Want, Not Just What's Broken

Rather than solely discussing problems, articulate what positive outcomes you desire. Encourage discussions about what should be present, creating a vision for improvement. Spend time imagining a world where things work well, emphasizing the positive.

Focus on "HOW" You Talk Together, Not Just "WHAT" You Talk About

Pay attention to the process of communication to understand why some conversations are smoother. Notice changes in tone, speed, and assumptions during conversations. Develop self-awareness to enhance communication and ultimately improve conversations.

Focus on Your Own Reactivity, Not Theirs

Reactivity hampers productive conversations; control it to achieve better results. Suspend the need to react immediately; remain curious and seek to understand. Turn off reactivity to enable meaningful conversations that require higher levels of character.

Focus on The Deeper History of Your Feelings

Every conversation has a past, present, and future; explore the origin of persistent emotions. Use conversations to understand where deep-rooted feelings like fear or inadequacy originated. Delve into the history of emotions to gain insights into personal and relational growth.