Exercising Your Agency Without Shaming Or Judging Others

In a world that seems increasingly divided, finding a way to express our personal values and beliefs without shaming or judging others has become crucial. The rise of political differences and offensive comments on social media can leave us feeling more alone, even as we strive to come together during a pandemic. So, how can we exercise our agency and maintain our individuality without harming our relationships and community? Here are three rules to guide us:

1. Suspend Your Certainty

- Pride and Confidence: Acknowledge that excessive confidence can come off as judgmental. We often act confidently even when we may be wrong, and this overconfidence can hinder open-mindedness.

- Confidently Closeminded People (CCP’s): Understand that being closeminded isn't about confidence but fear. Being open to various perspectives allows us to be more receptive to truth in life.

- Influence through Openness: To influence others, be open to understanding and appreciating different viewpoints. Confidence in your own knowledge may prevent you from being influenced.

- See Both Sides: Appreciate both sides of an argument without always having to pick one. Being open to different perspectives fosters understanding and unity.

2. Humanize, Don't Demonize:

- Real Human Beings: Remember that every opinion or stance is held by a real human being with fears, concerns, and needs. Humanizing others makes them relatable and reduces the likelihood of causing harm.

- Humanizing vs. Demonizing: Distinguish between humanizing and demonizing based on how you feel about the people you discuss. A larger circle of friends can be formed by humanizing more people.

- Empathy and Understanding: Explore the motives, fears, dreams, and goals of others. Humanizing individuals makes them more like ourselves, fostering empathy and understanding.

3. Live All of Your Values

- Deeply Complicated Views: Recognize that human beings hold complex views beyond issues like wearing masks or opening up the country. Living your whole truth means embracing all your principles and beliefs.

- Avoid Dichotomies: Refrain from viewing issues in black-and-white terms. Life is not just about wearing or not wearing masks; it involves living all the principles you believe in, not just a select few.

- Integrity through Whole Truth: Live a more whole and perfect life by incorporating all your values. Avoid regret and pain by considering the multitude of beliefs, morals, and lessons that shape you.

Ultimately, finding a way to express agency without shaming or judging others involves a delicate balance of humility, empathy, and living a life guided by a comprehensive set of values. As Mr. Rogers wisely said, "There are three ways to ultimate success. The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind."