Communication Rules to Elevate Your Conversations

Everybody wants to have more effective conversations with the people they love, yet we seem to keep running into the same walls repeatedly. To truly connect instead of rejecting our most important relationships, we need to intentionally change the way we approach our conversations. 

Remember that Hurt People Hurt People

Find compassion before communication to connect effectively. Understand that angry or hurtful conversations stem from someone's personal pain. How you see the other person determines how you will communicate with them. Choose to see them with compassion, acknowledging their struggles, and communicate in a healthier way.

Be Influenced Before Trying to Influence

Listen to what others are saying and show that you care. Understanding the other person's perspective is the fastest way to end a conflict. Demonstrate confidence by comprehending their point of view first. Actively listen to prevent escalation and encourage open communication.

Slow Down by Checking Your Response

Proactively respond instead of reactively responding. Slow down your responses to ensure they come from your highest self. Check your response by asking: Is it honest? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Avoid saying something if you answer "no" to any of these questions.

Go Deeper In Your Conversations

Recognize multiple layers in every conversation: content, feelings, and identity or STARVED Stuff (core identity fears, insecurities, and needs). Connect content and feelings to your identity or STARVED Stuff for a more profound conversation. Share your thoughts openly and invite others to share their feelings and opinions. Connect on a deeper level by exploring the identity or STARVED Stuff behind the discussed content.

By applying these communication rules, you can transform your conversations and build stronger connections with the people who matter most in your life.