September 12, 2016

Allowing your Children to Fail

Ever seen or heard someone who sounded like a “helicopter parent”?  It’s all too easy to overshadow your kids with too much concern and too much help. Jessica Lahey says that when you back off, you’re giving your kids a chance to succeed or fail, which is the best thing you can do for them:

“I think a lot of it comes down to temperament. There’s a lot of research done on children who have parents who are highly directive, and guide them in every step of their lives. Those children usually end up with ‘learned helplessness’, or they choose to be helpless because they know mom and dad will always be there to rescue them. Those kids don’t develop the ability to push through hard times. When you take those parents away from those kids, they’re a lot less likely to push through problems because they’ve never had to develop that skill. The kids who succeed the most are those who have parents that are there for them, but they aren’t directing them in every little thing. They let them make their own mistakes, and through trial and error, they are able to overcome hardships. These are the kids we refer to as ‘resilient’. They have an ability to adapt.” – Jessica Lahey

Listen to the rest of the podcast here: http://tinyurl.com/zhcvvug

Matt talks with Jessica Lahey, the author of The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. She is an educator, speaker and writer. She writes biweekly Parent-Teacher Conference advice column for the New York Times and is a contributor to the Atlantic. What do we learn from failure? Jessica Lahey, suggests that the best parents learn to let go so their children can succeed.


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