February 1, 2016

Helping Others To Believe In Themselves

Has someone you cared about ever passed away and only then, did you fully realize how much they had helped you to become a better person? Or inspired you to believe in yourself? Of all of the gifts that we could leave the people in our lives, truly the gift of “believing in oneself” has got to be up there among the top gifts ever. Here are 6 Principles that I’ve found that help others that make it easier for people to truly begin to see how truly amazing they really are. I’ve also included the outcomes that each of these principles inspires.

Validate Their Worth, Not Just Their Works (Which Inspires Self-Worth)

  • People have infinite value and worth regardless of what works they bring to the world. To many times in our lives we focus more of our attention on the works (The job, the touchdown, the look, fame, the money) of what people contribute to society rather then who they really are as a human being.
  • Sometimes its good to know that you are going to be loved unconditionally, not only loved when you are able to produce and outcome that others value or deem appropriate.
  • Many have learned to have a distorted sense of self and they believe that they won’t be accepted or cared for if they don’t become famous, fit, funny or fabulous in some way.   

Encourage Them By Understanding Them (Which Inspires Self-Expression)

  • People feel their best when they’re bringing to the world what their heart tells them they need to bring.
  • In order to encourage another person we must first understand what they know about themselves.
  • We need to listen to what their dreams are, their concerns, their beliefs and their fears.
  • The best encouragement comes when people can open up their hearts to us because we care more what they want to be than what we want them to be.
  • Encouraging people makes others better, not because they know so much about life, but because they know so much about the person their trying to inspire. They’ve walked a thousand miles in “their” shoes.

Shine Your Light On Their Strengths (Which Inspires Self-Awareness)

  • Many of us have strengths that we don’t even know about, it’s as if we are in the dark about the good things we can really bring into the world.
  • To influence others to be better means that we use our insights to shine the on the strengths and inherent abilities of others. Notice what people are really good at and make sure you comment and point those strengths out.
  • Point out the specific things that you can see that people bring to the equations of life.
  • Notice the character strengths like hard working, compassionate and patient as well as the other more tangible strengths like making money, staying fit and working hard.
  • Thank others when you see them using their strengths or exercising their strengths in front of others.

Pin Point Their Progress (Which Inspires Self-Acceptance)

  • Improving oneself is a life long pursuit and many times because it takes so long for you to actually become good at something, nobody notices you’re good at something for years.
  • For example if someone wants to be good at playing the piano, it really will take them years of practice before someone who only hears you play once in a while will see the progress you’re making.
  • Inspiring people seek out the progress and make it a point to notice what is actually improving from one performance to the next.
  • Many times the best motivation that will help to move people the many years it takes to become good at something comes from the positive little comments of progress along the way.
  • They hold the person accountable to what they say they were going to do.
  • They give me the benefit of the doubt.

Make It Safe For Them To Stretch (Which Inspires Self-Confidence)

  • They keep secrets and allow me to learn from my failures.
  • They constantly reinforce the value, strengths and confidence that they have in the other.
  • Inspiring people help me to not get down on myself or be put down by others because of the failed efforts or attempts to be good at something.
  • People thrive when they realize that they are safe when they wont be harmed physically, embarrassed socially, emboldened emotionally, protected financially and connected spiritually. So try to inspire the other to work on the 5 distinct areas of safety.

Consistently Champion Their Courage to Continue (Which Inspires them to be Self-Directing)

  • People that inspire us to believe in ourselves are in our lives consistently.
  • They believe in our cause even when we lack the courage to believe in it ourselves.
  • They also are able to see and strengthen our own courage to continue our difficult journey, to fight the difficult fight which each of us needs to fight.
  • It seems in my life that there have been people placed in my life at very important times who have emboldened my courage and ability to exercise more courage. To stay the course in my life when truly it would have been easier to simply give in.
  • The key to truly help people be able to weather the storms of life that impact them, we must be constantly following the promptings that are guiding our life. We must learn to voice more with courage than with fear and to do so consistently. Then we become a voice that others can trust and know will always be there.


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