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January 4, 2016

New Way to Approach the New Year

“It’s not the bars that hold the tiger in, it’s the space between the bars that hold the tiger in.”

 Life is made up of two things, the tangibles (material or physical things) and the intangibles (immaterial or non-physical) things. Traditionally people place more value on attaining the tangibles (strong body, money, home, kids) than on the intangibles (safety, love, connection, peace). This focus on physical things seems to offer most people more comfort despite the fact that what people tend to complain about most really is the intangibles of life. For example most new brides spend more time focusing on their wedding ring and bridal bouquet than they do on building a lasting “love” with their partner. Over time however, these tangibles (ring and flowers) fade in importance, and the intangibles (lasting love) become the top complaints.

This tangible-centered bias also plays itself out in our New Year’s resolution rituals every year, with us focusing more on our “six pack’ and 401K than on our happiness and relationships. So with this in mind then lets get our priorities in the right order and begin to resolve to improve the quiet empowering intangibles that produce the most lasting happiness. Here are four intangibles we should all be evaluating to create a healthier new year, namely our Thoughts, Feelings, Relationships and Habits.

 Thoughts- What Thoughts, If Elevated, Would Create The Most Positive Impact This Year?

  • What thoughts tend to occupy your mind? Are they more positive or negative?
  • What thoughts do you continue to have about yourself that you might need to change?
  • Are there thoughts that you continue having toward family and friends that you need to replace with other thoughts?
  • Can you turn some of your negative thoughts into healthier thoughts?
  • What thoughts would you rather experience daily?
  • What thoughts would provide you more peace of mind for this new year?
  • What can you do this year to incorporate those more positive thoughts into your life?
  • What is the most important thing you can do this year to improve your thinking and thought process?

Feelings- What Feelings, If Elevated, Would Have The Most Positive Impact On This New Year?

  • What feelings have been haunting you over the last year?
  • What feelings tend to occupy your body, day in and day out? Are they more positive or negative?
  • What feelings do you continue to have about your life and your future that you might want to change?
  • Are there feelings that you continue having toward family and friends that you need to replace?
  • What feelings would you rather experience daily?
  • What feelings if changed, would make the biggest difference in your life for this New Year?
  • What is the most important thing you can do this year to create the healthy feelings you’re seeking?

Relationships- What Relationships Need A Stronger Connection This Year?

  • What people do you want to get closer to, connect to, or make a closer part of your life?
  • What relationships need more attention from you this year?
  • What relationships, if improved, will most positively impact the quality and peace in your life?
  • What relationships are the most important to you and your highest purposes in life?
  • What is the most important thing you can do this year to improve the connection in this relationships?

Habits- What Habits, If Established, Would Most Elevate What You’re Becoming This Year?

  • Notice that this does not mean what you want to DO but instead what you most want to do consistently this year? Consistent doing is called a habit and our habits are the greatest source of what we are becoming In our lives.
  • So of all of the things that you do in your life, what are the most important things that you do, that make you the best person you can become?
  • What would happen if we could make a habit of doing the things that really matter most to you?
  • What is the most important habit you should start working on today?
  • What habits, if created, would bring you the greatest sense of pleasure and peace?
  • What is the most important habit you should start working on today?

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